Farewell, vintage aqua BOAC bag, stolen forcibly from my uncle's car at the beach this afternoon. I loved you very dearly, since you were the same model that the Beatles brought to America with them in 1964. Now you belong to some hooligan who doesn't even know that you were thematically bought the day of the Paul McCartney concert in Dallas last year. Along with my phone, my US passport, my credit cards, my keys, my makeup, 60 dollars in cash, and my bus card. Oh, and a strawberry muffin, to which I was particularly looking forward.

My insurance can replace everything else, but the BOAC bag is a total bummer. Why, I oughta...

Sigh.